


Hidden Dagger

by orphan_account



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Angst, F/M, post-Sochi, say it right
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-18
Updated: 2018-07-18
Packaged: 2019-06-12 08:32:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15335943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Scott and Say it Right





	Hidden Dagger

"I can say that I don't know that I am alive."

He lived like an impersonation of himself. Smiling, joking, and skating with as much finesse as people expect from the Scott Moir, all the while his heart lay buried in the Sochi snow.

He was dealing with it. Not dealing well, but dealing with it. He faked joviality, acting like Scott Moir and not being Scott Moir. No, the Scott Moir who existed before February 17th, 2014 was currently lost. What little comfort he gained from being with Chiddy, traveling the Canadian countryside, and (consequently) ignoring the problems of his future was taken away by a dark room; a sad, mournful melody; and a girl - dressed in black - who uncharacteristicly but intentionally - is torturing him for 4 minutes every night.

Things are not fine between them, haven't been fine for months, and probably won't be fine any time in the future. Sure, their bodies move and twist and perform the same moves at the same time, the audience given a great performance but their souls are nowhere near in sync. She hates him right now. For good reason. He was the one who propped open the door of possibilities. Spoke of a life together outside the ice rink. Smiled at her and said "I love you". Held her, said they could heal together, and she believed him. Until the doubts rolled in. Maybe she was just a consolation prize. If he couldn't have gold well at least he could have Tessa right?

The emotions of it all, the highs and lows of being in the Olympic camp, and the generous amounts of alcohol could be to blame. Maybe he didn't want her after all. She only asked for time. Time for things to settle and for them to have a chance to think through what they both felt, needed, and wanted. But Scott didn't want to wait and like a petulant child had sulked away, finding himself a girlfriend almost as soon as their feet hit Canadian soil again.

She was owed some justice. And she took it every night during Say it Right. She made him feel like a wrag that had had its water harshly extracted by nimble hands. Wrung until he felt lukewarm. No longer completely saturated and yet - wet enough as to feel uncomfortable and made useless. He got just enough Tessa as to start feeling like the old Scott Moir again when she would suddenly kick the legs out from under him vindictely reminding him how beautiful, how amazing, and how mad she still was. Every touch of her hand, every glance of those beautiful green eyes burned him. He was still in pretty decent shape but he had to remind himself to breath when she looked through her eyelashes just so or when she "acted" like she was skating away from him. The one moment he dreaded every night was the spin away from that wall. When his touch starved self finally got to hold her, her hands on the back of his neck supposedly for support but feeling more like their true purpose was to suffocate any resistance he still had to her.

Those eyes looking up at him. Blindingly beautiful. Most of the time he would close his eyes during the spin. Her actions and the look in her eyes being too much for him to witness night after night. Though sometimes he would open his eyes too soon and catch her brilliant, all-knowing smile. Eyes full of amusement at his expense.

Maybe one day, he would gather the strength to cross the divide that separated them, apologize, and attempt to correct the damage he had done but for now he remains in a trance; watching from a distance, afraid to approach, knowing he's never seen anything so beautiful in his life and dreaming that one day Tessa will look at him, eyes sparkling again because she loves him.

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written fanfiction since I was 11; scribbling into notebooks about Jack Bauer and the CTU. I'm not sure if it's any good and I'll probably delete in the morning but it had to be put on paper so here it is.


End file.
